Boris Johnson at 3.45pm:
— Matt Forde (@mattforde) January 31, 2022
I’ll be more responsible from now on
Boris Johnson 5 minutes later:
Here’s a Jimmy Savile gag
If you were a fan of “You must wait for the Sue Gray report” you’ll be delighted to hear there is now a sequel … “You must wait for the Police investigation to conclude”.
— Kate McCann (@KateEMcCann) January 31, 2022
— Mark Gatiss 💙 (@Markgatiss) February 2, 2022
Movie news: Filming starts today on “Eighteen Parties, One Wedding, and One Hundred and Fifty Seven Thousand Funerals” pic.twitter.com/vqKUqDkgYb
— Peter Kay (@theonlypeterkay) February 2, 2022
I’ve been thinking a lot about the 2011 london riot; how a student was jailed for stealing water. Yet, we have a PM who has broken lockdown rules & millions of covid funds unaccounted for and there won’t be any repercussions. Covid has been a lesson in classism in many many ways.
— Dr Annabel (@SoSowemimo) February 1, 2022
“Nadine, Nadine, Nadine, Nadine,
— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) February 2, 2022
I'm begging of you please don't take my man.” pic.twitter.com/jOqqPUSTjD
Boris Johnson’s hair is gonna resign next.
— Rob Beckett (@robbeckettcomic) February 3, 2022
In order to avoid paying for meals, Salvador Dalí would doodle on the back of his cheques, knowing they would then never be cashed.
— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) February 1, 2022
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
— Nooruddean (@BeardedGenius) January 29, 2022
~Maya Angelou https://t.co/TwOfVRWiRn
Four advisers leaving Downing Street together; this is going to be an EPIC leaving party. Might need a second suitcase.
— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) February 3, 2022
Giving people £200 because they can't afford to pay £800 then asking for your £200 back isn't help
— John Lewis (@JohnLewisEU) February 3, 2022
Interestingly, Boris Johnson will be the third Prime Minister in a row brought down by Boris Johnson.
— Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) February 4, 2022
The best thing about February is Pancake Day and this year it’s in March.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) February 4, 2022
Please, please, @RealMattLucas, can I be the one who comes and distract you while you’re baking? #vengeance 😈 https://t.co/HJcTsmupbH
— Giuseppe Dell’Anno (@giuseppecooks) February 4, 2022
Just when you think there’s no more idiocy to be uncovered he surprises you. HE HAD A PHOTOGRAPHER TAKING PICTURES THE WHOLE TIME. https://t.co/MvsoWFcqag
— Stephen Mangan (@StephenMangan) February 4, 2022
Obviously I know the Wordle program generates its words by magic but I enjoy inagining it’s just that one guy who has to do it every night, like me with Taskmaster texts. Panicking at 11.55pm. ‘Shit, shit, um, ok DUCKS.’
— Mark Watson (@watsoncomedian) February 5, 2022
husband: you should hang out with my friend’s wife, she’s an introvert like you
— meghan (@deloisivete) January 16, 2022
me: that’s…that’s not how it works
ineke.co.uk 
Anything to add...?